At sixteen, Billy blags his way into a well-paid job at a Grangemouth chemical plant despite hating chemistry — and learns the hard way that a bike is no way to commute seventeen miles.

A drunken tumble down an embankment leads to an ill-timed encounter in an underpass — and an unforgettable entrance for his girlfriend at Monday morning registration.

Already on his girlfriend’s dad’s bad side for putting her on the pill, Billy makes things far worse by turning up blitzed at three in the morning and christening the family living room carpet — much to the delight of the pet Scottish Terrier.